THE “F” WORD – 3 WAYS TO FIND PLEASURE IN YOUR FEMININITY

By Sammie Venn – Writer and Owner of Soul Warriors

THE “F” WORD – 3 WAYS TO FIND PLEASURE IN YOUR FEMININITY 

“For I conclude that the enemy is not lipstick, but guilt itself; we deserve lipstick, if we want it, AND free speech; we deserve to be sexual AND serious—or whatever we please. We are entitled to wear cowboy boots to our own revolution.” After reading author Dr Naomi Wolf’s powerful words I dug my cowboy boots out of the closet and attempted to work through my own solitary revolution. I too wanted lipstick, love and liberty. 

Celebrating our femininity should be a practice that connects both the pleasure and magic of being a woman. It’s easy to berate ourselves, finding fault in the smallest of details but it is those elements  that we should embrace and nurture more than anything; it is after all what makes us unique in this world. Since my hip replacement I have learnt to love the scar I see every day, as it was that very operation which allowed me to walk again. Falling in love with your body, scars and all, is about accepting everything that is wild, vulnerable and rampant about it. Listening to our intuition and feeling the emotions that accompany it, is a practice worthy of time and dedication. 

I have been in the retail industry for over 25 years now; understanding what women want and correlating that to how they feel, is a task both meaningful and joyful to me. It is something I continue to learn and explore daily as finding our inimitable style is part of the process of discovering our femininity; for me it is about how we show up in the world.

I have never been an avid follower of fast fashion, the clothes we wear and how we choose to adorn ourselves is part of being authentically who we are. At heart I am a boho gypsy who longs to live her life in maxi dresses with no shoes, in the sunshine. This is of course not always practical but I like to kiss the earth with my toes as often as I can and working from home, especially at the moment provides me with that luxury.  

I have been working on a series of practices that will hopefully help to reclaim our pleasure both internally and externally. Here are a few rituals that harness the wisdom that we all carry within ourselves. Something for the mind, body and spirit.  

1. RECLAIMING PLEASURE

When we feel pleasure, we radiate it. Our skin glows, our eyes smile and our bodies feel more fluid and engaged with life in the moment. Finding pleasure in our daily activities is all part of a healthy sacred self-care regime. Notice what brings you joy, is it walking in nature? Dancing slowly to a rhythmic beat? Eating delicious food? Meditating? Soaking in a candlelit bath? Whatever it is, write it down and designate some time to your desires. Fulfilling our deepest needs brings us joy and harmony. 

2. DATING YOURSELF

Have a date with yourself, be your own lover. Imagine your ideal soiree then recreate that for yourself, it can be wildly extravagant or very simple. A few years ago I took myself out for dinner, I dressed as if I were going out for the perfect first date. It was an odd experience as I had never done anything like this before. I was as nervous about being alone in a restaurant as I would have been meeting a prospective partner. But after my first glass of prosecco, I eased into the evening.

I pulled out my notebook and listed everything I wanted to attract into my life; health, the feeling of safety, oneness with myself and those I loved,  a man who respected me on all levels and a career I could be proud of. I ate my dinner mindfully, observed those around me and then smiled to myself, I remember feeling happy for the first time in years. I still have the journal I wrote in that night, I see it as part of my self-healing revolution.

When you commit to choosing you, that loving vibration will radiate into all areas of your life.  

3. SACRED ROSE MEDITATION

The Rose has long been considered a symbol of the divine feminine. When my daughter and I moved to our home in East Sussex we bought a “Coeur Rose”, a “Love Rose”, in hope that it would manifest exactly that. Consequently it has never flowered when it should, in fact it has blossomed during the oddest of times; snow, harsh frosty winters and scorching summers. I even found two perfectly formed flowers one new years eve.

Suffice to say I see it as a strong and firmly rooted plant that can spring to life in the most adverse of conditions, where the thorns protect the beauty it bestows. In Tarot a rose is seen as a symbol of balance, it expresses new beginnings, hope and promise. So I like to look at our magical plant as something that has stood the test of time, full of boundless wisdom and copious beauty, her petals answering my prayers. 

This is a beautiful mediation taken from Chloe Isidora’s book “Sacred Self Love”. Its nourishing for the soul and when we rejoice in our feminine power, our hearts open to so many possibilities. This is a simple yet engaging practice. 

• Find a quiet space to sit comfortably and be alone. Breathe gently for a minute, inhaling and exhaling to calm your body and mind. Hold a rose in front of you and allow your gaze to soften and your breath to deepen. 
• How does the rose appear to you? What colour and texture are the petals, how long is the stem? How many thorns are there? When you look at the rose what words enter your thoughts, how do you feel, what sensations come over you?  
• Close your eyes and let your shoulders, head and body soften on a deeper more energetic level. How does your body feel? Can you hear the messages that the rose has for you? Be open to the communication.  
• Write down all of the words, feelings and emotions that you have felt, see it as your very own poetic rose wisdom.  
• Offer gratitude for the connection you made. 

In learning to love the body that our soul inhabits, calling that home and living intuitively has got to be the best gift we could give ourselves.