4 WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-LOVE FOR POSITIVE MENTAL HEALTH

By Sammie Venn – Writer and Owner of Soul Warriors

SELF LOVE AND MENTAL WEALTH

What happens when you begin loving the reflection of who you are in the mirror?

Someone once said to me “do you really want to meet the love of your life? Then look in that god damn mirror because they are staring back at you”. I was initially embarrassed by this statement and then shocked, as I felt that loving my image, was a selfish and arrogant thing to do. Never once had I considered it important or necessary – but how wrong could I have been. 

I now truly believe that falling in love with yourself is the secret to happiness. It’s not easy, I spent years loathing what I saw first thing in the morning; criticising fine lines, assessing overnight weight gain, obsessing about split ends or dry skin.

Carl Jung said that “the most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely” but I could only find fault in every part of my physical and emotional being. The thought of self-love had never entered my head and I was certainly never taught it as a child. 

This unfounded negativity created self-doubt and perpetuated a cycle of events throughout my teenage years that had grave consequences on many other areas of my life. Self-love was what posh people with money did as far as I was concerned. I didn’t like myself very much, so the relationships that I attracted had a destructive impact.

My headspace was harmful, not mindful. However, after a severe breakdown in my early forties, I soon discovered that the practice of self-love wasn’t egotistical, indulgent or self-centred. It was actually a heightened state of bliss. 

For the first time ever, I began to smile back at my reflection in a kinder more gentle way.  After all, I would never talk to my 13-year-old daughter the way I chastise my inner child. When our lives are full and busy it’s easy to slip into auto-pilot and forget about what really makes life beautiful. So I began the journey by creating some helpful tools that could put me back on the happiness track when I was feeling low or not good enough. 

4 WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-LOVE

1. The Mindful Pause 

Create a deliberate pause in your day. I love doing this, I consciously make sure that I stop, concentrate on my breath for just 1 minute and let go of my thoughts for that brief moment. It refocuses my intention and aligns my mind and body.

I’ve become so well practiced at this, that I can do it sitting in a busy coffee shop, on the bus, making a pot of tea or walking into work. Mindful pauses are a great way to create day to day moments of tranquillity. It’s a great technique if you are feeling the pressure of the day.  

 2. The Company of Books 

The thought of a world without books fills me with utter despair. Since I learned to read, the feel and smell of a book evokes joy and happiness. Reading is not only my hobby but a self-love necessity. I never leave the house without a good tome, fiction or non-fiction, paper and ink are part of my narrative.

Where we live in a world governed by technology and frenetic activity, a book calms the mind by the very process of turning a page and immersing yourself in a story. This does, of course, depend on your preferred genre but it acts as a portal to an alternate universe. It quietens the present and allows you time to unwind in your own world.

My favourite place to read is in the bath, surrounded by scented candles. I could be on a beach in the sun, but I find most environments work for me. 

3. Getting Jiggy With It

I LOVE dancing! Apart from being a low impact cardio workout which increases stamina, muscle, and bone strength, dance is a mood enhancer. I have various soundtracks which depending on my frame of mind and the time of day, either calm me or ignite me. If exercise isn’t an enjoyable experience, we aren’t going to stick to it for long. So busting a groove will not only have a feel-good factor but release all those wonderful “happy” endorphins too!

As we get older it also helps us focus, have better coordination and flexibility. I dance by myself in the living room, with my boyfriend after too much wine and with my daughter on our monthly pamper nights. I can get lost in a room of live music, the louder the better.

When we move our bodies to music we naturally smile. Anyone can dance, it’s inclusive and it doesn’t matter if you have two left feet. We should all be able to dance to our own rhythm. So getting jiggy with it is one of my favourite things to do. 

4. Being Naked is Good for You!  

Its history is long and detailed, but the benefits of a good bath go way beyond soaking your bones to relax and wind down. Hydrotherapy has been practiced for centuries. The use of both hot and cold water has a myriad of beneficial effects on the body.

Bathing improves our heart health and lung capacity. When the water is warm our hearts beat faster and oxygen intake improves plus the steam created helps to clear the sinus and chest. It also helps to reduce pain, inflammation and calm the nervous system. A hot spa or bath can kill bacteria and improve our immunity. Therefore, the effects on our body, mind, and spirit are manifold.

For me, it’s not just the physical benefits as outlined above, it’s also about the creation of space and the experience it gives me. Epsom salts, essential oils, candlelight, soft warm fluffy towels, a face mask and a glass of wine is quite frankly one of my favourite things to do in the evening.

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

Mindfulness, walking, swimming, dancing, reading, and bathing, are all activities I have been able to bring into my everyday life. They cost very little but ensure my mental wealth. It’s about cultivating a good habit and encouraging some self-investment.

Aristotle said that “we are what we repeatedly do”. 

I’ve discovered that having no routine is mentally and physically exhausting. If I deprive my body of what makes it feel good, then my everyday life becomes more stressful in the long run. So, I’ve adopted Aristotle’s wisdom and created a simple routine that I can stick to. This will nourish my mind and rejuvenate my body with the love and energy that it deserves.

Being kind to yourself should be a habit, not a treat. So I urge you to make it habitual and feel the benefits of loving yourself back to life! 

For more ways to practice self-love take a look at: 10 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love